You know, being here is sort of like a punch to the brain. A couple of the questions I've been faced with are:
1.) Who is Jesus Christ, really? Who is this One that I am serving?
2.) What is my role in the Kingdom, in the Church?
3.) How would the world change if I allowed Christ to unleash Alyssa Ann Eagen on it?
4.) What is Jesus' heart?
5.) What do I want?
I'll expand later.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
...and then there are the margins....
today i was on the max and a girl hopped on and began to ask riders if they had any spare change. including me. i said that i was sorry but i didn't, and as she walked away, i realized that i had $5 in my back pocket. i could have easily walked over and handed it to her but i didn't. i sat still and rode to my meeting with bridgetown- a leadership meeting about how we could better fulfill our mission statement: loving people because people matter. you know what the worst thing about it was? i was kind of relieved, because i realized that i had money for starbucks with me.
on the way home, after the meeting, i was on the max once again, and i began to wonder. this young girl (she looked younger than me) was dirty. it had obviously been a few days since she had been able to take a shower, and her clothes and hair gave testimony to that. i wondered if that girl was clean if all of us on that train would have offered to help her out? but she wasn't. this girl was in the margins. how in the world did we ever get the absolute nerve to set those up? Jesus never abided to the rules of society and our margins. and i have serious doubts that if He were to show up one day on the earth and take a walk around, He would be spending time with me. no, He'd be in the margins.
and i want so badly to meet Him there, to break down those walls. but ever since arriving here, i've realized that there is no way i'd be able to do that out of my own free-will. my mind-set is too twisted to ever do that with a sincere heart and sound mind. i NEED Him. i DESIRE the mindset of Jesus Christ. being here is showing me just how crazy and counter-cultural Jesus was and IS.
this city is so uncomfortable for me, because it is teeming with those that we've placed in the margins, and those people are aware of it. this is not safe, it is not comfortable, it is not a stroll in the park. this is hard. but it is worth it.
i'm feeling these growing pains in my soul. i'm being humbled. it hurts. a lot. but i think, for this reason, i need to be here.
on the way home, after the meeting, i was on the max once again, and i began to wonder. this young girl (she looked younger than me) was dirty. it had obviously been a few days since she had been able to take a shower, and her clothes and hair gave testimony to that. i wondered if that girl was clean if all of us on that train would have offered to help her out? but she wasn't. this girl was in the margins. how in the world did we ever get the absolute nerve to set those up? Jesus never abided to the rules of society and our margins. and i have serious doubts that if He were to show up one day on the earth and take a walk around, He would be spending time with me. no, He'd be in the margins.
and i want so badly to meet Him there, to break down those walls. but ever since arriving here, i've realized that there is no way i'd be able to do that out of my own free-will. my mind-set is too twisted to ever do that with a sincere heart and sound mind. i NEED Him. i DESIRE the mindset of Jesus Christ. being here is showing me just how crazy and counter-cultural Jesus was and IS.
this city is so uncomfortable for me, because it is teeming with those that we've placed in the margins, and those people are aware of it. this is not safe, it is not comfortable, it is not a stroll in the park. this is hard. but it is worth it.
i'm feeling these growing pains in my soul. i'm being humbled. it hurts. a lot. but i think, for this reason, i need to be here.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The First Entry of My Real Blog
To me, blogging is just like journaling with the exception of extremely personal thoughts. I only hope that I'll be able to keep up on this as I am TERRIBLE at journaling. I want to be faithful in it, but I seem to constantly fall short. But I did want to start a blog so I could share stories from the adventures God is taking me on.
For those of you who don't know, this summer, I am interning at Bridgetown Ministries in Portland, OR. So far, I have been a part of one official event called Soles for Souls. Bridgetown worked with the ShoeMill, Adidas, and other shoe companies to distribute around 5,000 free pairs of shoes to the homeless and others who needed them. It was an awesome event, but it blew me away. As the rain fell, we talked to people about their lives, their day, and their shoe size. Everyone was different, but what I enjoyed most was seeing people's faces light up as I opened a shoe box to reveal the answer to a real need, and talking to them about the different shoes they would need for their day-to-day lives. One woman told my friend, Liz, and I that she needed sturdy shoes that wouldn't let water in, as she lived under one of the several bridges in Portland (hence the name Bridgetown).
One thing that frustrated me about the event was the lack of boots. I wouldn't have given it a second thought, except for the fact that almost every other person asked for them. And we barely had any.
Already I am learning that there is very little I know about the world. But I am constantly learning, growing, and gaining a wider perspective of the Body and the universe and people that Jesus Christ is reconciling to Himself. It's awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfTxUPVDF4M&feature=PlayList&p=4F0F85FFDC630602&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6
For those of you who don't know, this summer, I am interning at Bridgetown Ministries in Portland, OR. So far, I have been a part of one official event called Soles for Souls. Bridgetown worked with the ShoeMill, Adidas, and other shoe companies to distribute around 5,000 free pairs of shoes to the homeless and others who needed them. It was an awesome event, but it blew me away. As the rain fell, we talked to people about their lives, their day, and their shoe size. Everyone was different, but what I enjoyed most was seeing people's faces light up as I opened a shoe box to reveal the answer to a real need, and talking to them about the different shoes they would need for their day-to-day lives. One woman told my friend, Liz, and I that she needed sturdy shoes that wouldn't let water in, as she lived under one of the several bridges in Portland (hence the name Bridgetown).
One thing that frustrated me about the event was the lack of boots. I wouldn't have given it a second thought, except for the fact that almost every other person asked for them. And we barely had any.
Already I am learning that there is very little I know about the world. But I am constantly learning, growing, and gaining a wider perspective of the Body and the universe and people that Jesus Christ is reconciling to Himself. It's awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfTxUPVDF4M&feature=PlayList&p=4F0F85FFDC630602&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=6
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